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--kay. Start? Record? Umm-- Oh.

[with his own mirror starting to reflect, peter manages to muster up a relieved smile. sure, he's used the shard before, but he's never had to work out how to start a message before. he's only ever had to respond to something already there.]

So, um. Hi? My name's Peter, and I've been here for like...two months now?

[he blinks, looking away from the shard for a moment. has it really been that long already? he fiddles with something off screen, tugging his sleeves further down over his hands to hide his webshooters.]

I know some of us kind of met during the whole-- [he holds his breath a second, cheeks puffing out.] --underwater thing. But I was talking to someone the other day, and it kind of reminded me that there's some things we should probably all know about. About this island, I mean.

So, it happened about a week after I got here. One night, there was a scream, and all our shards lit up. There was a girl on the other end of it who tried to warn us, I think. She said "he's coming", and then she disappeared. I think there was someone else there with her, but I don't know for sure. There wasn't really anything to see. She didn't show her face, it was just...a shadow? My...friends and I tried to find her. But there wasn't anything to go on.

[a pause, and he stares across the lake, towards the building in the far distance. right up until he's snapped out of his own thoughts by the appearance of scales breaking the surface of the lake. it's back. scrubbing his eye with the heel of his palm, peter refocuses on the shard again, his expression sombre.]

People have been disappearing here. When I turned up-- There were two people here from my world. [well, technically, universe. but he's not getting caught up in that.] They're not here anymore, and I don't know where they've gone. All I know if that I woke up one morning, and their room was empty. Their bags had gone. Everything.

I...I think they went home. I think they got sent back somehow. [because he refuses to believe that anything bad happened. (they're safe. they have to be.) or that they found a way home and left him behind. (they wouldn't do that. they're heroes.)] They wouldn't have left as long as people were stuck here. So that has to mean that there's something out there that's capable of sending people home whenever it wants. Which means we have to find it.

[... easier said than done. he shakes his head suddenly, jumping to his feet and grabbing the shard. he holds it up as though he's taking a selfie of himself, turning so his back faces the lake. it's a shot of his head peeking in from one side, the distant castle taking up the rest of the space.]

We need to find a way to go there. [there's an enthusiasm to him now that'd been missing for the rest of the message. he has a mission to focus on now, and it's a lot easier to look forward to that than to dwell on what's already happened.]

I know there's other things we probably need to focus on too. Food, for one thing. Working out how to protect ourselves if that creature comes back again. Fixing up the buildings here so they don't leak if it rains. [a shrug, and he lowers the shard again, looking down at its surface.] I guess that should all get dealt with first, seeing as we have no idea how long we'll be stuck here. But I still want to check out that castle too.

[another pause, and he does his best to put on a smile.]

So, yeah. If anyone needs any help, or you just want someone to talk to, I'm by the lake. I'll probably be here all afternoon.

[a wave, and then the picture goes dark as he places the shard down and goes back to fiddling with his mask. he could really use you right now, karen.]

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You will.

[It seems important to say, because Bucky's very good at not being seen. But there's no need for that type of stealth now; he simply heads out toward the lake, not bothering to change clothes. Peter seems like he needs denim and cotton more than leather and kevlar.

He approaches at an angle, so Peter will be able to see him coming.]

Hey.

Mist-- Bucky. Hi.

[the smile he offers up when bucky arrives is a lot more genuine than anything he's managed so far. sure, he may be upset that the others have left, but having a familiar face still here with him makes the whole thing a little more bearable. it makes it easier to focus on what still needs to be done.

well, tomorrow, at least. today, he's taking the day to just...relax.

staying sat where he is, peter offers up a small cloth pouch, the top open so bucky can see inside.]

Want some jerky? It's either rabbit or deer. I can't remember which bag was which.

[The politeness makes him smile a little. It's unexpected but nice, especially since they don't really know each other that well. That and the fact that Peter knows more about him than he would have thought and still tries to be a friend.

He folds himself to the ground next to the other man, peering into the bag and considering. He finally takes a small piece, just to not refuse the kindness.]

Doesn't matter which it is, ultimately. It's food. [Then again Bucky's eaten some questionable rations in his time, so jerky is pretty good.]

You doing okay?

[he starts chewing on a piece of his own, leaving the pouch on the ground between them. while the question doesn't really come as a surprise, it isn't any easier to answer now than it was earlier. losing gamora and star-lord so suddenly worries him. but he knows that focusing too hard on it will make that worry slip to panic.

(what if that's just the start? what if more people go missing?)

(what if they didn't go back home?)

he stares across the lake for a moment, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. no point focusing on the what if's. he can't control what's already happened. only what's going to.]

Honestly? Not really. But I know I'll get to see them again when we go home. We just have to hurry up and find a way back.

[he starts, realisation setting in and a smile creeping back on to his face.]

Now they're back home, they'll tell Mr Stark and Captain Rogers what's happening. They'll be trying to find us too.

[It’s a good thing, he thinks, that Peter doesn’t rush to answer, that he doesn’t give a falsely cheery positive. There’s an honesty in it, and more than anything else Bucky appreciates honesty. And false confidence leads all too easily to mistakes.

He follows Peter’s gaze out across the lake, letting his eyes rest for a moment on the castle. It’s intrigued him since he first saw it, and he’d love to figure out a way to get closer, see if there are any answers there — a foolish thought maybe, but worth the effort in his mind.

Later though. Right now there’s a teenager that seems to need him, and that’s certainly a weird feeling.]

It’s okay to not be okay. They were your friends.

[He’s hesitant in even asking, but maybe it will help both of them if he does, if Peter can talk about it.]

What are they like? Stark and Rogers?

[his smile slips a little at the question, confusion slowly setting back in again as he turns to look over at bucky. mr stark, he gets. but captain rogers?]

You...don't remember him?

[fighting the urge to reach out and touch the other man, peter draws his knees up so he can wrap his arms round them instead. between his own legs and bucky, one of them is definitely a lot safer to hug right now than the other.]

Is this like Mr Star-lord? Are you-- Wait, no. Am I from the future? Because that feels really weird. I mean, Mr Star-lord knew who I was but I'd never met him. But it sounded like it wasn't long before I'd get to. If you don't remember Captain Rogers though, does that mean you remember the war? Or Brooklyn?

[he stops suddenly, scrunching his face up for a moment before he's shaking his head.]

No, you have to. I mean-- [a vague motion towards bucky's hair. his arm.] Do you remember Thanos' spaceship? Or Germany? [right, asking a guy who fought in the second world war whether he remembers germany. smart move, parker.] The airport, I mean. With Iron Man, and Captain America, and Falcon, and, well, all the Avengers?

[It's the wrong thing to have asked, and he realizes as much the moment that Peter's face falls. Maybe the conclusions he'd drawn from the bits Peter seemed to know about him had been too hasty. Maybe he'd given a false impression himself; being invisible is something he's trained to do, and that isn't just limited to sniping a target from a distance.

He looks over at Peter, then out across the lake. It seems a little easier than looking at the teen, than letting him see the struggle that is Bucky's memory.]

I— [It's complicated. The memory isn't there, not entirely, but there's something. It hasn't solidified any more than it had in Washington, hasn't revealed any new details. But he's sure of one thing.] I... knew him. Once.

[Catching that motion out of the corner of his eye, Bucky looks down at his own left hand, curling and uncurling the fingers.]

I have no idea what you're talking about. [A breath goes by, and another. He's not sure that he wants to talk about this.] I thought— Do you... know what I really am?

I don't know everything.

[which is kind of an understatement. the few details he knows about bucky are things that have been spread on the media, and none of it had been particularly flattering. but given all that's been written about the avengers before, he knows better than to take any of it as fact. so he's largely having to work on assumptions.

letting out a slow breath, peter turns his attention back towards the lake again, offering up bucky some level of privacy for now. it's also a chance to buy himself some time. to work himself up to what he knows he needs to say.]

I told you before that I trust you. [his voice is quiet, body tense despite his words.] So I'm going to tell you something that Mr Stark would probably get mad at me for saying. But I- I think I need to tell you so it all makes more sense.

If you don't remember the airport, then we've never met before. Mr Stark worked out that I've got...abilities, and he asked me come to Germany to fight. [which isn't really the hard part to admit to. instead--]

I was on his team. You and Captain Rogers were...on the other side. I fought all of you, but I don't know what happened at the end. I just know that I got sent home, and when Mr Stark and the others came back, they said everyone on your side were criminals. I never got to meet either of you properly.

No one knows everything. [Which is not entirely true of course; Bucky is certain that HYDRA is still looking for him. The handlers, the scientists, the technicians; they might not know everything, but they know enough. And there are details locked in his own mind he knows, details that surface sometimes but not with enough consistency to piece together the entire portrait of his life.] But I'm listening.

[It's a quiet statement, and he'll neither rush Peter nor interrupt. The story itself though is strange, and Bucky isn't sure what to believe out of it. Then again he still feels that he can't trust his own brain, so perhaps that's giving color to his perception. Even so, he lets Peter finish it, right up to the admittance of never really meeting.]

You've met me now. [He does take a breath; a deep inhale, a slow exhale. Finding the words is difficult. Sorting out who he is hasn't been easy, period, and he's not sure what to do about any of that in light of any of this.]

I— knew Captain America. Captain Rogers. Steve. I knew him, in the time before— [He shakes his head.] I know that I knew him, but I don't know him. And Stark—

[He looks down at his hand again, flexing and curling the fingers. These memories are the ones that are clear and while he'd prefer not to talk about them, he thinks he's going to have to.]

I am— I was a HYDRA operative. The Winter Soldier. I have a very specific skill set. Nothing existed for me outside my missions. The name Stark— [The pause is just a beat too long before he continues.] Howard and Maria Stark. They were targets of mine. The mission was successful.

I don't know how any of this fits with what you've experienced, but you're probably right in calling me a criminal. [It doesn't explain Captain America's part in any of this though, and Bucky's thoughts are drawn back to that falling helicarrier and those insistent words. You know me and he should, he does, but he also doesn't and that's the problem.]

[he can't help it. despite listening to all that bucky says, it's one thing in particular that he zeroes in on. that causes his stomach to roll, his heart starting to feel as though it's beating out of his chest. howard and maria stark. mr stark's parents.

a successful mission for a hydra assassin.

his breathing starts to pick up as he has to fight to keep himself from fleeing. from scrambling away from the one person who he thought he could trust.]

You-- [he swallows thickly, hands curling in to fists as he struggles to process it all. to try and remind himself that hydra did it. that bucky wasn't given a choice. hydra are the ones responsible for twisting his mind and turning him in to their weapon.]

You killed Mr Stark's parents. [he shakes his head, rubbing angrily at his eyes. it feels like another piece to the puzzle of why the avengers fell apart. why iron man and captain america went from allies to enemies seemingly overnight.]

Why did HYDRA want them dead?

[He's not unaware of the effect his words could have had, not unaware that it could completely tear apart the tentative balance they'd found. But it's not right to let Peter go on believing in him under false circumstances. Peter had called him a hero in their first meeting; it's gone uncorrected for too long.

He shoves his hands in his pockets when he hears Peter's respiration quicken, looking down. He's not sure he can salvage anything of the conversation now. He's not sure what he owes his young companion — or why he feels he owes anything at all.]

I did. [It's the only thing he remembers clearly: all of his kills. How each life had ended, whether at the end of a rifle or in his own hands.] I was taken out of cryo specifically for this assignment.

[His voice goes a little flat and detached as he talks. The words come slowly but steadily — emotionless, because that's what the Soldier is. A weapon; a tool.] I was to eliminate the targets and retrieve the cargo in the trunk of the vehicle. I was not told why they were to be eliminated. That information was never part of my assignments.

[There's a long pause before he continues.] That cargo contained a serum that was used to create five more Winter Soldiers. I assume that the deaths of the Starks was such that the serum's theft would not be discovered, nor the serum itself re-created. But that's only conjecture.

[curling up tightly around his legs, peter fixes his gaze on the space between his shoes, and for a long while, that's all he does. it's a lot to take in. the revelation that bucky killed the stark's. that bucky (his...friend?) is responsible for killing his idol's parents.]

You... [a shake of his head, and an amendment. something he knows he needs to focus on if he wants to continue to be able to spend any kind of time around the other man.]

They killed them just so they could make more supersoldiers.

[a statement rather than a question. if he focuses solely on facts, then maybe it'll be easier to process it all.]

You didn't get a choice back then. But things are different now. You're not HYDRA's Winter Soldier anymore. You're you.

[another deep breath, and he glances sideways towards bucky.]

I don't think you would've done it if you'd had a choice. Am I wrong?

[Bucky would argue that statement; controlled or not, it was still his hands that did the killing. His hands directly in fact; it was a murder meant to look like a car accident and that meant getting up close and personal. But Peter doesn't need to hear that, nor does he need to hear anything about any of Bucky's other missions.]

They did. [A beat.] They wanted to create a team that could destabilize and overthrow a government in the space of a day. They succeeded.

[And Bucky had trained them, had been used from their creation up to their storage. They're still there, in the tanks, waiting to be woken for a mission. But they're not as controllable as he, he knows. Not as easy to use.

Peter doesn't need to hear all of that.]

I don't know what I am now. I'm not the Winter Soldier, but I don't know who Bucky Barnes really is.

[It's honest, and he doesn't hide from Peter's glance. It means showing some of his own struggle on his face, how it really feels to only have pieces and not even know the shape of the whole.]

You're not wrong. I— [he looks at his lap with a bitter laugh] —remember each mission, each face. But I promise you, I don't do that any more.

[while he may not know everything about hydra, from the few details he does know, it sounds par for the course for them to be creating weapons to overthrow governments and place themselves in a position of power instead. creating those weapons out of people only makes it that much worse. an army of supersoldiers. it's not as though the avengers can be everywhere at once.

nodding slowly, peter finally comes to a decision. one born partly from knowing that it's the right thing to do in the situation they've found themselves in, and partly due to enjoying the time he's spent with bucky since arriving.]

Then...as long as Mr Stark doesn't turn up here too, I think- I don't think it matters.

[he frowns a little at his own words. at how flippant they might seem. but given that they're trapped in an unknown environment, he knows that they'll have to keep working together if they ever plan on finding a way home. so short of mr stark turning up on the island and finding out bucky's secret, he knows he needs to find a way to set it all aside and focus on the bigger picture.]

It matters. I don't mean that it doesn't. But...what happened, what they made you do? That isn't the you that I know. So maybe we could both get to know Bucky Barnes together? [a beat, and then he's scrunching his face up.] That sounded a lot cheesier than I wanted it to. Sorry?

If he does—

[It's a big if, but it's certainly not impossible. After all, they don't know what brings people here, or how, or why.]

I'll deal with it.

[He will, singularly. Peter doesn't need to get involved in something likely to turn ugly. And since Peter seems to have a good relationship with Tony Stark, Bucky won't do anything to compromise that.

And, honestly, he finds that he wants to know Peter a little better.]

Relax. I know what you mean. [He looks toward the lake again, picks a small stone out of the grass at his side and tosses it at the glassy surface. It hits with a small splash and a ring of ripples.] I'll forgive you the cheesiness if you forgive me for dumping all that on you in probably the worst way possible. I would like to know who I am, not just what I am. I think I'd like you to know too.

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